Me | I Did This

I did this to myself. If I fail, it will be because I deserve that punishment.

Last night, I said to myself, I'll sleep first before I study. I closed my eyes and the next time I opened it again, it was already 6:30 am. Although, I knew the time as it passed, I put my mobile phone on alarm in 1 hour intervals. And when it did rang from 11 pm, 12 am, 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, to 6 am. I turned the alarm off myself. I did not snooze it, I turned it off. And yet, it felt like my slept was so short. I did not have dreams nor nightmares. Nothing. It is true that sleep is a luxury for us medicine students. If you deserve to be rich.

For us poor, useless, lazy, and , sleep is a punishment. You wished you hadn't slept. It is now that I only realize what punishment sleep is. Sleep can be either a reward or a punishment. For me, I had it the scary way.

So the rest of the day went on with a practical exam and theoretical exam on Histology. The pracs - as we like to call the practical exams - was easy. I felt like I could have perfected it. But the unprepared me was prepared to have a hard time. Histology was my confidence, and yet, I could actually take a removal exam on it, or worst, I could fail it. I hope not.

Then the theoretical exam was next. First item on the exam, I couldn't even answer directly and surely. I was sleepy not even halfway to the finish. I was sleepy even though I already slept so much. So it came through me, for a person such as a sleepy me, feeling that addicting pain is a sign of being clueless. Literally.

Going through the answers, I would do my best guess. Shade here and there. I was so eager to pass the papers. More shading here and there as the thoughts of Enchanted Kingdom, tomorrow's CFM exam, money in my bank account, my new pen which I bought because I forget to bring one, and more sleep came into my mind. It was so ironically funny thinking why I have such thoughts, although I do not feel fun at all. I even say, "God, help me. I know it's to much to ask and I don't deserve it, but it would be nice if You help me even though You're punishing me. Still, I'm being punished so, as always and all the more at this moment, You'd still have Your way."

Nonetheless, 1 hour after receiving the brown and white papers. I went out thinking, "at long last!"

Walking and eating afterwards with the dabarkads, as I heard the answers of most of my classmates, and their discussions, I thought to myself, "Wow. We have the same answers."

Then, as if God himself was speaking into my ears, I realized, "Even without your efforts to study, I can still let you shade the correct answers, even if you didn't thought much about it, or analyzed it. With just my help alone, you would pass any exams, easy or hard, long or short. Even with just my wisdom alone."

Yes, if I rely only to my own strength and wisdom, I cannot do anything, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put in. God is giving me an opportunity to do something, something that matters, something is better than nothing. His strength alone can support the whole universe. His wisdom alone created the Earth. If I couple His strength and wisdom with faith, obedience, hard work, and perseverance, surely, I would attain the highest marks any other genius could. Aren't I His child already?

Faith in God's help, character, promises, and love.

Obedience to God's words and commands.

Hard work to make me do my best, not second best, but only the one best I could ever do.

Perseverance to not give up doing my best, resisting temptations, and believing in God.

He supplies with me with all I need, now, it's up to me to do my part of the contract of His promises. If I am punished to fail, I did this to myself.

Me | Med Night '09

Whew! Home at last, I still have a hangover! Night life with friends and classmates was super fun! ^_^ This day was really a care-free, fun day!

First, I wasn't able to go to school for our only morning class. :p I woke up at roughly 9 a.m. Then Jae and me, the bums that we are, just ate and slept again for the whole morning. Come afternoon, we took a bath already, because afterall, we aren't doing anything. Then we prepped up ourselves already! Not that we were excited, but because I figured I haven't fitted my dress yet, so if ever something's not right, I still have time to do something about it. I experimented on my eyes, and proud to say, it turned out simple yet sassy. I liked it! ^_^ I've never used black before and it was my first try on myself (Jae is my Barbie doll. =p). So at about 3 p.m., I was already suited up. From top to bottom. I decided not going to the parlor whatsoever. I dressed up myself and I am pretty happy about that. =p Heehee.

I'm slowly starting to become malandi. XD And I must admit that I'll be experimenting more and changing my fashion sense. Haha! It requires a bit of practice. We need to at least appear our best! :D Although it would require money! And that's were I will have a hard time! XD Haha. Just the other day, last Wednesday, me and Jae shopped for my things. I spent 2.5k for a hair iron, make up, and and accessory. The other week I bought a simple dress for P700. I was happy because I found something cheap. XD If I had a lot of resources, I swear I'll be a shopaholic. Thank God, He didn't give me a lot of money, or else I'll have a really large debt. Whew, I need to earn. I'm thinking of what business I can do that won't require match. *Sigh* I have to earn to pay up for my desires. For now, I'll have to settle with what I have. =p

Anyway, going back to Med Night. We took a cab since I won't ever take a jeep wearing a dress and all prepped up. Going back to the dorm, I almost forgot to bring my ticket. Haha! XD Thank God I didn't (I lost my ticket anyway at Eastwood =p). Then, planning to eat at Tapsilogan, we ended up at Ministop. I don't want to eat a meal since dinner at Something Fishy is Eat-All-You-Can (Eventually, I didn't eat much. You'll know why, at the next few sentences to follow). We were at Ministop to wait for almost 30 minutes or I think it was more. I was really hungry, and seeing all the food around me, I can't help to buy. I said, I'll only buy a snack. Unfortunately for me, I overestimated myself, and was actually contented already. I wasn't hungry anymore. I wasn't looking for the food anymore.

Aside from because I already ate, I didn't quite like the food at Something Fishy. It was rather ordinary. Pansit, chicken, steamed fish, Kare Kare, Pinakbet, Nido soup, and fried Kangkong with dip. It wasn't really that drool-worthy. But the Nido soup was good. I missed it. =p

Then we went down, going to some classmates, then out, to the smoking boys. Although I don't like, or rather, I really hate the smell of cigarette smokes, I have no choice. I don't discriminate. Perhaps if we die early they'll stop their smoking? :D

We roamed around for a bit, taking pictures, here and there, all over, wherever, whenever. =)) Well, section 1C has been know as section 1Camwhores. XD LOL. We went inside Eastwood mall. It was cold, and...empty. It was nice and elegant, but nothing special I'd say.They just had sofas outside the stores. Sofas that were most welcome to me and Ivy's aching feet.

Then we went back and saw our classmates in the stage (some stage in some part of Eastwood where I do not know). We took pictures, and sat, and talked, and laughed together, joked at each other. That's the best part of 1C, it is always fun, always joking (imagine yourself in a comedy bar). That kind of joking...tripping.

Then as we wait for the opening of the Manor, we went to DQ. I love DQ! That's all I can say. It's one of the best ice creams in the world! =p

Then, lining up at the Manor. At last! The gates opened, and one by one, we entered the cold place. Up the stairs, up on some more stairs, then there, a dark hall, the dance floor. And once the DJ popped that music, we all went into dancing mode. We're all like different people. Music really is universal. We ALL danced. And eventually hurt our feet. =p

Pinky, Mitch, and Ira joined a dance group with other people from other section and they participated in the dance competition. When it was their turn in the dance floor, gosh! I was so envious! I missed dancing! And the three of them, who did not dance before, were great! Take note, the steps are all sexy! :D Go girls! I think they're gonna win. The other two groups obviously just joined for the 100 less in payment if the section have participants. =))

Then Jae and Well arrived. My feet were so tired already, it was the first time I felt that I could not walk anymore. As in literally! I was walking down the stairs which was more *ouchy!*. There were just too many people around for me to really mind my feet. I needed to walk straight or else they might say, "poor girl, maybe she needs to go to the hospital?" I was thinking of crawling. Whew, glad I walked through till outside. I saw chairs. And was so happy! Like a firework.

Anyway, this is getting long already and I'm kinda sleepy. My body is yearning for the bed already. I want to say more, so I'll just edit and add some more stuff tomorrow.

Thank God for this night! It was fun! ^_^

Me | Saturnine Beat No. 1

This is not a fairytale, there are no happy endings.

Why am I not too cautious of what they call "emo"? It's because, in reality, I am an emo.

I may appear as a simple, cheerful person, but, in reality, I am discontented hater.

I am a frustrated perfectionist.

I am a daydreaming hopeless romantic.

I am a trusting broken-hearted gal.

I am not a princess, this is not a fairytale.

I got that line from the status message of a friend in YM. It stuck so much to me.

I must admit, I am guilty. I have only myself to blame. It was my own fault. I am weak, I am fragile, I am a loser, I am stupid, I am poor, I am nobody.

I cannot pretend anymore, I don't want to pretend anymore.

I am disturbed, I am hurt, I am aching. My heart is bleeding, my eyes are crying. It hurts so much; my broken heart is torn apart.

I was living in a dream of hope, but all I've done is nonsense. All my life is nothing.

I wasn't holding on to something afterall. I wasn't doing something worthy afterall. It was all useless, unworthy.

Are you listening God? Or is the devil the one putting these thoughts in my head? Maybe, Satan's blocking my prayers, and you are letting it, because I am a sinner, because I am a hard-headed child.

Can I even be called your child anymore?

With all the tests, papers, homeworks, recitations, reports, and grades I've had, I could not even know, if you're listening to me when I talk with my mind, when I cry with my heart.

God, are you listening?

Can you feel I'm aching? Can you hear I'm crying? Can you see I'm hurting?

All the people around me do not satisfy me. They even hurt me.

I see. I am discontent.

I don't want a life like this.

Many times, have I gone out of my room, smiling to the people outside.

But inside my room, my pillows are wet.

The soft bed is my only comfort. Inside is my comfort zone.

I don't want to go out anymore. I don't want to be hurt anymore.

Lord, I won't go out and feel pain anymore.

Why do you let this happen to me? Why do you let me be hurt? Why did you give such a life to me? Why did you have to make me like this?

I know I'm a sinner; lazy, selfish, stupid, egoistic, irresponsible. But I've asked for help already.

Where is my help? I've prayed for strength, where is it? Why am I weak?

I don't know what is wrong anymore. I am confused. My mind is polluted that I want to get rid of it. I want to break my skull and just throw my mind away.

You give me these family and friends I do not know. Neither do they know me. They are near yet strangers to me. Because not one of them knows me, hears me, feels me, and understands me.

Lord, this emotional and mental pain is the worst pain ever. I am sick. I am not well.

Is this all you have for me? Will I just be like this after today? Tomorrow, what will happen? Will I not change?

The next weeks, will I still go on and live the same way? I want to break out. Shout.

But I'm afraid; the people will stay away from me. I know they will even get mad at me.

It's like this, this world.

I don't know what to do. Oh God. I'm not suicidal.

But I feel dead anyway. And being conscious makes it hurt even more.

This is not the movies, tomorrow is not predictable.

But one thing is for sure, it will be the same hurtful days to come.

Unless, something really awful develops, maybe it will change something.

I can't believe I'm still hopeful.

Me | versestoheart.blogspot.com

My new blog!

♥ Verses To Heart ♥

Well, I made this because...

I  God!!!

^^

It's filled with verses, verses, and verses!

Daily Bible readings, devotions, or quiet time.

Visit it sometimes if you need some quotes, or advices, or more knowledge.

It's important to know what is really important. * Woah! That was redundant! XD *

I hope you could visit sometimes. ^^

Thanks!

God Bless Us All!

Me | The Rich Life I Wanna Live

I happen to read this at Yahoo! news.

And I was really touched.

These are the kinds of rich people I adore.

* xoxo *

Ludacris Gives Away Cars to Contest Winners

But don't get me wrong.

I don't know his songs. Haha~!!

♥ ♥ ♥

It's just fitting.

To give when you have more.

To share your blessings.

Kudos to you Mr. Ludacris!

I hope one day I'll say * kudos * to myself.

That day I'll be rich as money itself.

Me | Describe Me in One Word: A Facebook Photo Tagging

I grabbed this photo when my friends tagged me with it. And found a nice opportunity to interact with my friends in Facebook. I posted the photo and tagged all the friends I could possibly select. XD

And here are the answers I got!

Ang adik ng mga sagot nila. Haha!
They made me smile!
Thanks guys!



Add me up at Facebook here.

Random | Stuck With Each Other

Haha and you thought this was another song post. I was tagged on Facebook and it was interesting to see what the results were. Hehe.

Try this too.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button (ONLY ONCE!!!) to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS, even if it is incredibly embarrassing.

4. Tag 15 (or whatever) friends who might enjoy doing the same as well as the person you got the note from.

~ o start o ~

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY...
- No Ordinary Love by MYMP
(Anu daw? Haha. I might sound retarded kapag sinabi ko yan ano? XD)


2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
- All I Ask of You from The Phantom of the Opera
(Here is a part of the song lyrics:
Love me
that's all I ask
of you...
When it comes to love, perhaps that's really all I would ask for. :D)


3) WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
- Here I Am by Devi Lovato
(It goes:
You got to scream until there's nothing left
With your last breath...
Yes, someone who would scream his love for me until there's nothing left with his last breathe.)


4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
- Celebration by Jump 5
(Haha I laughed when this came it. Such an irony. But oh well, pwede na rn!
"Celebrate good times, come on!")


5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE
- For You I Will by Monica
(For God I Will :D)


6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
- Welcome by Jump 5 OST of Brother Bear
(Hahaha wierd! XD)


7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
- Love Story by Taylor Swift
(Uhmmmm...I'll ponder on this more. May possibility naman eh. XD)


8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
- One Sweet Day by Boyz 2 Men and Mariah Carey
(Haha, I'm thinking about that sweet day that would finally come.)


9) WHAT IS 2+2?
- Never Ever by All Saints
(Kabalewan XD)


10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? '
- Just Want to be with You by Enrique Iglesias
(I got to be with you somehow...)


11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
- 7 Things by Miley Cyrus
(LOL Hahahahaha! Nax naman ako.)


12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
- Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by David Cook
(Yeah, I haven't yet. ^^)


13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
- One Love by Blue
(The lyrics goes like this:
One love for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
One love oh I do believe
One love is all we need...
To have a one unified love is what I want as I grow up.)


14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE
- God of Wonders
(Pertains to God. All that He is, is wonderful.)


15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
- Kiss the Girl OST from The Little Mermaid
(Hala pinamimigay na nila ako. Hahahaha!)


16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
- Can't Live a Day by Avalon
(Interpretative dance? Haha.)


17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
- When I See You Smile by John Waite
(When I see you smile, I could face the world...Hala panu pag wala na me?)


18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
- No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
(Panu kea magiging hobby/interest yan? Haha. Although, maganda sayawin yan. :D)


19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
- Tattoo by Jordin Sparks
(They're in my heart, just like a tattoo, I'll always have them.)


20) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
- Beauty and the Beast OST from Beauty and the Beast
(LOLOLOLOLOLOL Pwede! Wahahahaha! Oh my gulay!)


21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
- Why Can't It Be by 3rd Avenue
(Why can't it be that I will die or live?)


22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
- Testify to Love by Avalon
(I regret not being able to testify His love efficiently and continuously.)


23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
- Ang Sarap Dito by Project 1
(Kung san masarap, dun nakakatawa. XD)


24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
- Bleeding Love by Boyce Avenue
(Bleeding nga eh, nakakaiyak talaga yan.)


25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
- Reflections by Christina Aguilera OST from Mulan
(Pag-iisipan ko pa kung related nga ba to. Haha. XD)


26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
- Give Us Clean Hands by Mercy Me
(Scary ang dirty hands.)


27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
- Don't Forget by Demi Lovato
(Hala nakalimutan na......)


28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
- Valentine's Dance Tango OST from Another Cinderella Story
(Tango music lang yan eh. XD So perhaps, nothing!)


29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
- Puso by Spongecola
(My heart hurts? Maybe.)


30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
- Stuck with Each Other by Shontelle ft. Akon

(So I'm posting it with the title as it is 'coz I can't think of anything else to say.)

~ o end o ~

Whew that was fun! Hehe.

Crazy crazy ^^

Me | Restaurant City in Facebook

Just a post what I've been enjoying the most in Facebook!

What's the most efficient way to arrange your restaurant that will make you earn faster and get ratings faster?

Hehe. Join me at Resto City! Add me on Facebook here.

Me | Make Someone Happy with a Caz

Taken from Jae's blog. =p
Go to: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

Put your name in, and generate slogan after each question.

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?

Caz Lickin' Good

Nax! Wahahaha! Pwede...

2. What do you want other people say about you?

Do you have the Caz inside?

Say what?

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...

Daddy or Caz?

Ahahaha. Retarded answer to someone asking you out. But it could mean something...

4. How would you answer a booty call?

You Can On a Caz, Can Do!

Wah. I don't understand. XD

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?

151 Countries, One Caz.

Woah. I like this ♥ One Me! * How could you not like me? *

6. to someone you dislike?

It's the Bright One, it's the Right One, that's Caz.

Haha. So random!

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?

Designed for Caz, Engineered to Last.

* Excuse me. I'll just test the new toilet bowls they installed here. *

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...

New Thinking. New Caz.

Wah! It was new thinking that I got home late???

9. You're failing a subject, you say...

Pride of the Caz for Over a Hundred Years.

Wahahahahahaha. What the heck! To fail is my pride? LOOOOOL.

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?

Wow! I could have had a Caz!

Wahahah. Boom! Basag!

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...

Clunk Clink, Every Caz.

Huh?

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...

Break Me Off a Piece of that Caz.

Waaaaaaaah! Break a piece of me?!?! Nooooo! Heeeeeeelp!

13. What are the best words to describe you?

You'll wonder where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth with Caz.

Best words?

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Gets Caz.

Nice! ♥

15. Your last words before you die...

Life Should Taste As Good As Caz.

Woah. I like this! Haha. ♥

16. Your message to a special someone..

Let Your Fingers Do the Walking through the Caz.

Can be. Haha. Crazy!

17. Title of this post will be...

Make Someone Happy with a Caz.

Oh yeah! Let's spread happiness. Spread Me!

xoxo Fun fun fun! xoxo